Bench Roundup: December 2024
Another one down the hatch
Hell yeah —
Another year down the hatch. The Gregorian calendar (a B+ concept) turns. And as we flip the proverbial script, leap into this new year, I stand firm (for now) in a long-festering belief: I don’t think holidays should fall on a Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday. The primary holidays should all fall on Thursday, while the secondary and tertiary holidays should fall on Friday. Thanksgiving follows a sound and favorable model, what is stopping the others from doing the same? We just experienced subsequent weeks with primary hollies falling on a Wednesday, and I have yet to talk to someone speaking in favorable opinion about the recent holiday scheduling. You could argue that certain primaries or secondaries source back to legitimate birthdays or biblical records. But in the context of geological time, are we not floating on a rock right now? Are we not galactic, reacting to gravity and chaos and whimsy? Wouldn’t you rather always celebrate the New Year on a Friday, and have greater chances of 3-4 consecutive days of calendar-given time off?1
Anyways, initially, for our beloved’s final Roundup of the year, I had grand ambitions to create a 2024 Top 100 Things List. A play on all of the end-of-year content every publication produces. A clapback to the packaged endings and insufficient algorithmic engagement bait. A reaction to the carefully combed camera roll. I had a passing idea to curate a general amalgamation of all the things I’ve experienced in the past year. An arbitrary ranking of the action, the concerts, the rivers, the breakfasts, the lighthouses, the lanes, and the things you can imagine keep my attention. It would have been a joyously performative list, a carefully curated, silly selection of all the happenings in the Benchesverse. So glamorous, of course, because it is inherently more enjoyable to make a list of all the enthusiasms and positives instead of a Top 100 of all the unfortunate things that have happened in a year. It might be underrated how much the year-end lists that float around focus on favoritism rather than discontent.
Of course, I thought of this mere weeks ago, and I am just a boy, a mortal, incapable (re: unwilling) of such production on such a turnaround. A message to my editors: sorry to disappoint. So, what you receive is this short recap. A subjective and arguable rambling instead of a definite and inarguable ranking.
In my drafts, my little-considered, hip-fired notes, a list began to form. Ranked 96th, 79th, and 23rd, respectively, were the pistachio raspberry croissant at Black Walnut Bakery, the novel Martyr by Kaveh Akbar, and the card game Euchre. On the list but yet to be associated with a number were public radio, lighthouses, and saxophones2. I was compelled to bring attention to the Salmon River, the beautiful experience of watching your friends finish the last mile of a marathon, and an assortment of other favorable or fun activities that flavored the year. The concept of having things to look forward to would have been in the top 5, and I would been overtly coy and declared Astonishment as the best thing of 2024.
You might be asking, where are the benches? Where does the blog’s namesake settle in on the list? Benches transcend the reductive form, the conjecture, the opening paragraphs. Benches are forever and boundless. A few examples below:
The Benches of December
Bluebird Trail; Missoula, MT
Black Friday; blue skies. A Friday waltz on a trail new, a pleasant piece of public land. It was my first time hoofing it on the Bluebird Trail, rounding the ridges, grooving the mild elevation, and veering off the main trail to check out the scenic overlook indicated by the trailhead signage. I was in the mood for a scenic overlook with a side of seating. And, awaiting any trailgoer, a pleasant horizon and a crescent of rocky bench slabs line the overlook’s endpoint.
A Carousel For Missoula; Missoula, MT
The frosts found Missoula again. An easy target, I suppose. But ambling about on one December day, on the backside of a sign indicating the history of Missoula’s Carousel (out of frame), guardianed by horse poles, is a hidden ledge of a bench. By itself, a simple seat, oriented in a way that whomever rests could watch the carousel horses orbit. What’s far more impressive and endearing than this bench is the story of the carousel itself. How Missoula cabinet-maker Chuck Kaparich told the Missoula City Council “If you will give it a home, and promise no one will ever take it apart, I will build A Carousel for Missoula.” How fundraising began and a community came together. Their website tells it well:
Kaparich taught others to carve, mechanics began the process of restoring 16,066 pieces of the antique frame and motor, painters were recruited, and Missoula began working together to create a treasure.
By Opening Day, May 27, 1995, over 100,000 hours of volunteer time had gone into the construction of 38 permanent ponies; three replacement ponies; two chariots; 14 gargoyles, gargoyle frames and mirror frames; and the largest band organ in continuous use in the United States, all within a jewel box building
Flipper’s Tavern; Missoula, MT
Something can be in your line of sight for quite some time before you find yourself paying attention to it. It has felt a bit daunting to comment on a bench at a place you frequently patronize, for you have to get the words right. But I am a bit past perfection when it comes to this piece. Right now, it feels like acknowledgment is enough, and regardless of editorial decisions, the truth of the Flipper’s bench remains: not a bad place to park it.
The Benches Of Whitefish, Montana
If on a winter’s dusk (or any dusk, really) you find yourself cutting through the streets of Whitefish, Montana, you’ll see a fleet of green benches patrolling the corners of most intersections. More can be read about Whitefish’s bench scene here
Danny’s Cafe; Kenosha, WI
A silhouette of Americana design lies at the entry of Danny’s Cafe, a low frills, perfectly fine diner in Kenosha, WI. A classic breakfast experience with no pretension. An expediency and affection in service that would combust a European. So on a foggy winter day along Green Bay Rd, in the Shadow of a Lowe’s, it felt right to find a booth and belly up, reconnect with friends during the shuffle of the season.
Picture time!!!
Even the smallest acts can make a big difference…
Ideal Conditions:
Three runs diverged on a foggy mountain…
Kenosha, WI lighthouse update:
Dave Klimisch For Village President
Required Reading
Fare thee well,
— Markus
I recognize this position takes a very corporate (M-F workweek) bias of the calendar. I am willing to work for and support a solution that benefits all humans dialed to the Gregorian Calendar
Saxophones would also probably be in the top 20 things of human history, not just in 2024.