Bench Roundup: May 2025
This charming May
Dawn patrol. The Coach USA bus departs from the Kenosha Brat Stop. Southbound on I-94, a sunrise casts a soft glow on the grasslands, the Bristol Renaissance Faire, the La Quintas and Cra Barrels, the exurbs that straddle this Wisconsin/Illinois thoroughfare. The bus parks headstrong at the arrivals drop off, I swing down the steps and saunter through Terminal 1 to my gate. Monday morning. It reeks of Outlook. And via Chicago, a flight back to Missoula, the nightcap of May. As we gather here today, should we give the month a round of applause?
The Benches of May
Now, I’m sure the dearly beloved readership of Benches has slid into their preferred seating before opening this email or accessing this post. We encourage this behavior, and for whichever day you find yourself tending to these ramblings, we might go as far as to implore you to seek personal comfort. Why, you ask? What’s so significant? It’s still a blog, right? Well, yes, the recipe is the recipe, but the batch is substantial1. May had some movement to it, some gripping action, and given such, we have compiled perhaps our largest roundup hence. Web visitor comfort is imperative to this entire operation, so cover your toes, consider your current lumbar support, take a deep breath, and remember that everything is made up and surely it must be a joke.
Freecycles Wheel Dome
Missoula, MT
The spring rains swooped in a way that can only be described as an evening squall, which transitioned into a sunset ripe for viewing. Post-rain, wandering in the bike graveyard of Free Cycles, an appropriately infamous Missoula community institution, the Wheel Dome was all shine and shimmer, providing an orb for this wooden construction. Fashionable in the precious Free Cycles way.
Rocky Mountain Supply, Inc
Dillon, MT
Once again, the wheels were turning on I-15 and took a minute to cool down in Dillon, Montana. And like anyone who's ever travelled through Dillon, Montana, or travelled at all, you’ll return to the same gas stations. This stop, Rocky Mountain Supply, Inc, which is essentially a mini-Fleet Farm that sells diesel out front, does the job. The shop tricks you with its relative gas station grandness that it is doing anything particularly well. On the south side of the building, next to the dog kennel, is a hybrid. A wet wood base gives way to a chrome Chevy lumbar system with signage to boot. The tales this tail could tell.
Editor’s note: If any traveler reading this has been to a thrift store in Dillon, MT that had a particularly potent scent of fryer, let me know. I am developing a support group.
Bear River Migratory Bird Refuge Center
Brigham City, Utah
Bear River Migratory Bird Refuge Center: the apex of the drive from Missoula to Salt Lake. Just the relief of exiting Idaho was enough, but the BRMBRC was simply waiting to get explored, demanding attention. Greeting visitors is a composite green bench of dual-lattice design, sloped on armrests but straight in view of the habitat. Yellow-headed blackbirds abound, with white-faced ibises to follow. A hell of a day for pelicans.
Salt Lake City Public Library
Salt Lake City, Utah
A morning stroll through Salt Lake City and its ridiculously wide roads. Its existence feels vaguely similar to any other mid-sized city, save for the elevation, the Wasatch Range, and the state’s religious overtones. Given certain sensibilities of this publication, when there is a used bookstore and a Public Library on the same city block, let’s just say we can apply an idiom that the refuge members in Brigham City wouldn't particularly enjoy. However, unfortunately, unless you want pinched cheeks, these stretched-out half pipes at the library aren’t suggested. Instead, wander the stacks; this is not the solution for your sitbones
Kilby Block Party
Salt Lake City, Utah
At Kilby Block Party, the benches were the rendezvous point and the steez was directionless. The steez was like the scent of the [redacted] thrift store in Dillon, MT: saturated and sensitive. I have my opinions, but they all seem beside the point. Pictured here, sitting in the sunglasses-themed bench on Day 1 of the festival, resting the dogs before New Order graced the stage, a generational grouping of fellas. Apropos of experience, I’d recommend the following bands to see live: Black Country, New Road, Been Stellar, Weezer, Justice, Momma, Wishy, Built to Spill, and Geese. I’d also recommend going to music festivals with your friends.
Idaho Potato Museum
Blackfoot, Idaho
The Idaho Potato Museum had an aura and the aura was starch. Outside of the restrooms, connecting the wings(?) of the museum, an oversized chestnut pew.
Jack Saloon
Lolo, MT
Stoke carried us through the day like a waiter and a tray. Stoke sent us down Lochsa Falls a la raft and sang a sweet song. Stoke chaperoned us along US-12, collaborated with the highway patrolman looking for a gander, and delivered us to the Jack Saloon, where the team got antsy between ordering food and receiving the food, so an incomplete game of horseshoes was played. Lining the lawn, never the main character but essential for plot progression, were delightful half-slices. Stoke was a lovely passenger.
Wolski’s Tavern
Milwaukee, WI
Please, a moment of silence for our beloved. Many nights I’ve dreamt of returning, of the ambiance of the free cork darts of the popped corn of the history. I’ve imagined the walk up Hamilton, the moment my sights set on the neighborly neon. It is a pleasure to know that Wolski’s is still dialed, that some things are still sacred. And to return in my now bench-aware condition with old friends, making new memories, and earning a new sticker, is rejuvenating.
Lake Park
Milwaukee, WI
Divine scenes at Lake Park, rolling time off my sleeve, gradient blues from shore to ceiling. In loving memory of Stephanie Wasielewski, on a production prolific in those parts, the epitaph spells Virgil, appropriate for the season it finds us in:
Now every field,
now every tree is green,
And friendly nature’s fairest face is seen
Big Oaks Golf Course
Pleasant Prairie, WI
At Big Oaks, a public golf course that some haters might argue would make a better bird sanctuary, bogey golf was back in action. At the driving range, repping before the first tee, an abomination presented itself. Again, as I was repping, I glanced to see this three-pronged sunken stone occupying space. An empty ball bucket, a Culver’s bag that some hotshit left at the base of the garbage receptacle, and I said….. “what?”.
However, I also say: requiem. Requiem! because on the 17th, the memory of Roger “Clyde” Dobnikar and his signature phrase “I tell you what!!!” will spiritually shave a stroke off your game.
The Benches Correspondent’s Network
Juicy stuff from the Correspondents this month. Peep the strategies
Tolmin, Slovenia
Courtesy of Drue & Mickey Navidomskis
Trail of the Couer d’Alenes
Courtesy of Hayley Glassic
San Diego, California
Courtesy of Dave Klimisch
St. Paul, Minnesota
Courtesy of Kenzie Yates
Missoula, Montana
Courtesy of Mitch Morris
Graciously,
— Markus
*All grammatical nightmares and nonsensical sentences above are either editorial misses or stylistic accomplishments. Choose your adventure.
substantial in a way that it might take approximately four (4) more minutes to read through